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No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

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The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic but not too authentic. Professional but not stiff. Friendly but not an oversharer. As organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic but not too authentic. Professional but not stiff. Friendly but not an oversharer. As organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity but so does letting your emotions run wild. In this book we'll help you figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share the latest research and helpful tips, and reveal the surprising reason why you'll actually be more healthier and focused if you're less passionate about your job. Drawing on what we've learned from behavioural economics, psychology and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.

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The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic but not too authentic. Professional but not stiff. Friendly but not an oversharer. As organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy The modern workplace can be an emotional minefield, filled with confusing power structures and unwritten rules. We're expected to be authentic but not too authentic. Professional but not stiff. Friendly but not an oversharer. As organizational consultants and regular people, we know what it's like to experience uncomfortable emotions at work - everything from mild jealousy and insecurity to panic and rage. Ignoring or suppressing what you feel hurts your health and productivity but so does letting your emotions run wild. In this book we'll help you figure out which emotions to toss, which to keep to yourself, and which to express in order to be both happier and more effective. We'll share the latest research and helpful tips, and reveal the surprising reason why you'll actually be more healthier and focused if you're less passionate about your job. Drawing on what we've learned from behavioural economics, psychology and our own experiences at countless organizations, we'll show you how to bring your best self (and your whole self) to work every day.

30 review for No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work

  1. 4 out of 5

    Thom Behrens

    Thought provoking book about how work culture influences your emotional wellbeing, and how your emotional wellbeing might be used to influence work culture. Acknowledges emotional experiences of different genders & races, and speaks to how the modern American workplace was constructed around the white man's preference for comfort. Illuminating. Good for everyone, great for introverts. Definitely recommend buying/borrowing the physical book - the illustrations are very fun!

  2. 5 out of 5

    Dave Neary

    There is a lot to unpack in this book! I loved it - both as a treatise giving people permission to have and express feelings at work, and for providing a framework for people to do so in a positive, healthy, and productive way. The chapters on leadership, teams, communication, culture, and the effect of emotions on these, and that they have on emotions, are all great.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Robin

    Not a review - just some notes I would like to keep handy. "...emotional dynamics affect our motivation, health, communication, decision making, and more. yet most of us ignore these emotions. Why is it that when we think of professionalism, we immediately jump to the idea that we should suppress everything we feel?" [p.4] Emotional fluency "the capacity to productively sense emotion and to know how and when to translate what you feel into healthy action." [p.10] "no one tells us what to do if we're Not a review - just some notes I would like to keep handy. "...emotional dynamics affect our motivation, health, communication, decision making, and more. yet most of us ignore these emotions. Why is it that when we think of professionalism, we immediately jump to the idea that we should suppress everything we feel?" [p.4] Emotional fluency "the capacity to productively sense emotion and to know how and when to translate what you feel into healthy action." [p.10] "no one tells us what to do if we're upset with a coworker or how to bounce back from a botched meeting with our boss." [p.10] 1) Be less passionate about your job (go home) 2) Inspire yourself 3) Emotion is part of the equation 4) Psychological safety first - be kind 5) Your feelings aren't faults 6) Emotional culture cascades from you 7) Be selectively vulnerable [p.12] "Caring too much about a job is unhelpful and unhealthy." [p.19] Make time for people you love, exercise, and a guilt free vacation [p.20] How managers talk about vacation matters [p.24] It's nice to be important, but the work will carry on without you. [p. 31] Don't vent endlessly - talk about the problem some, and potential solutions more [p.38-39] Clarity of focus What's your job? Are you working on the right things? Knowing this helps you know when you're accomplishing enough, that it is ok to go home, take vacation. [p.40] List the items on your plate, ranked by priority Show your boss and ask for confirmation of goals/priorities Ask: When do you need this by? "If you feel unmotivated by your job, it's time for some tough love: you've probably given up on learning." [p.61] Psychological safety on teams - [p. 108-113] Do people feel safe contributing? Encourage open discussion ask team members to write out thoughts and then share ask follow up questions can you say more about that? "Bad" ideas brainstorm to make people looser, less afraid to speak ask clarifying questions use generative (?) language - building on that idea . . . For projects create team agreement leader/supervisor should ask how you can help communicate and list task conflict vs relationship conflict "But to be a good surgeon, you have to be respectful and a good leader, because that behavior has an effect on patient outcomes." [p. 129] "Personal issues negate technical competencies." COINS Context: I know you want to move into a more senior position, and i want that for you Observation: You've been late to several key meetings Impact: This makes your colleagues feel that you don't have respect for their time Next: Can you commit to being on time in the future? Stay: Does this make sense to you? (feedback) [p.160] Emotional Contagion [p.176] We catch one another's feelings ". . . when I speak in a less impatient, more cheerful way, everyone else remains cheerful, which is better for productivity." [p.177] If you w=have a coworker who continually complains, de-fuse (and diffuse) the situation by genuinely asking What would you have done differently? What can we do about it going forward? [p.185] micro-actions opposite of micro-aggressions positive actions you take to build meaningful belonging [p.188] "Research by Stanford's James Gross shows that when someone is upset but keeps their feelings bottled up, our own blood pressure goes up when we're around them - even if we don't consciously realize they're angry." [p.209] Own your decisions and be clear about expectations Ask: What would be helpful to you right now? Understand each person's strength and weaknesses and treat them individually [p.211] When the shit hits the fan, you protect your team from the emotional fallout [p.213] As a manager, my job is to make sure you do your job well. [216]

  4. 5 out of 5

    Claire

    I really loved this book. It's succinct and doesn't labour every point, but covers some very important points. The old advice of no emotion at work is just unrealistic and this book provides some excellent ways of handling things. If you want each point covered in depth then I suggest you read the books referenced in the text. For me, this provided a great resource I can return to/reference having read many of those other books already. In the learning stage you maybe want the depth and many exam I really loved this book. It's succinct and doesn't labour every point, but covers some very important points. The old advice of no emotion at work is just unrealistic and this book provides some excellent ways of handling things. If you want each point covered in depth then I suggest you read the books referenced in the text. For me, this provided a great resource I can return to/reference having read many of those other books already. In the learning stage you maybe want the depth and many examples but beyond that, a reference is more useful to return to when dealing with a specific situation. As an added bonus there are cartoons and humour. What's not to like?! The narration in the audiobook version is also very easy to listen to.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Bookworm

    Spotted this as a "new release" and thought it would be an interesting read. I had a performance review and training not long ago and so that was still fresh in my mind as I thought this would be a good read and was curious to know what the authors had a say. The book is a good overview on what emotions we might encounter at work or around work, what might be the cause(s) and how we can manage them in productive ways. Topics cover everything from boredom to lack of interest to anxiety. Factors th Spotted this as a "new release" and thought it would be an interesting read. I had a performance review and training not long ago and so that was still fresh in my mind as I thought this would be a good read and was curious to know what the authors had a say. The book is a good overview on what emotions we might encounter at work or around work, what might be the cause(s) and how we can manage them in productive ways. Topics cover everything from boredom to lack of interest to anxiety. Factors that might affect how we feel that are addressed include gender, introverts vs. extroverts, race, etc. Throughout the book there are comics that help demonstrate the author's points. There's also looking at it from a leadership/management POV. It seems like a nice overview and I'm glad a book like this was out there, but it feels too much like a good broad overview rather than an in-depth look. I would have liked to have had more discussion about any of the factors that can affect our emotions at work. They were great pointers and brief summaries, but in the end I felt like I had read a lot of these tips and tricks before and I didn't really much to get from this book. That's not to say it's without merit because there are certainly people who haven't identified the source of stress at work (or that they're stressed about work!) Or they don't know how to deal with other factors like a very introverted employee or someone who is of a different race, etc. So this is a good introduction (like, I'd definitely recommend this to a new graduate entering the workforce or for someone who has been out of the workforce for a long time and is now returning) but I'm not sure this will have a lot of value for people, especially if you already have other factors like a work spouse, strong support network, a good management team that works on developing more junior employees, etc. Borrowed from the library and that's how I'd recommend it, although it might make a good gift for certain individuals as mentioned above.

  6. 4 out of 5

    Kelly

    Terrific topic and well-researched, but too much ground to cover in a book this length. It's basically a literature review of the entire field of emotions at work. I'd have gotten more value out of greater depth in a few key sub-topics. Excerpts I'm stashing for later: Don’t extend the logic of the workplace into your time off Many people are overly enthusiastic about optimizing free time. Stop falling into the type-A trap of compulsively making your hobbies more work than work. If you love to pla Terrific topic and well-researched, but too much ground to cover in a book this length. It's basically a literature review of the entire field of emotions at work. I'd have gotten more value out of greater depth in a few key sub-topics. Excerpts I'm stashing for later: Don’t extend the logic of the workplace into your time off Many people are overly enthusiastic about optimizing free time. Stop falling into the type-A trap of compulsively making your hobbies more work than work. If you love to play piano, don’t force yourself to practice for thirty minutes at precisely 8:00 P.M. every weeknight and then beat yourself up when you miss a day. Studies show when we mathematize our experiences—by tracking our steps or measuring miles hiked—we don’t enjoy them as much. * * * We usually describe ourselves as “happy” when we get more than we already had or when we find out we are a little better off than those around us. Neither of these are permanent states. Contentedness, on the other hand, can be more emotionally stable. The most content people craft their ups and downs into redemption stories: something bad happened, but something good resulted. * * * The pressure to be perky is so great that the National Labor Review Board ruled employers cannot force employees to always be cheerful (we’re guessing a lot of employees sulked in satisfaction after the ruling). * * * A better version of the familiar adage “Grin and bear it” may be: “Sometimes you have to bear it, but you shouldn’t force yourself to grin.” When we try to suppress our sadness, disappointment, or anger, we are more likely to feel those same emotions. A survey that asked people to rate how strongly they agreed with statements such as “I tell myself I shouldn’t be feeling the way that I’m feeling” revealed that those who felt bad about feeling bad had lower well-being than their more self-accepting peers. * * * You will feel a lot better about leaving at a reasonable hour or taking vacation if you know you’re doing a good job (in fact, high performers take almost twice as much vacation as their colleagues). And the first step to feeling confident is to figure out your boss’s priorities. “Working on the right thing is probably more important than working hard,” notes Flickr cofounder Caterina Fake. How can you ask for guidance without looking incompetent? If you’re not sure whether the launch email or report draft is more pressing, don’t tell your boss you’re confused. Instead, create a list of the big items on your plate and rank them in order of importance. Then take this list to your manager and ask her to confirm your prioritization. You can say something like, “Here’s what I’m working on this week. Is there anything you would like me to prioritize differently?” * * * LIZ: My favorite “magic moment” story comes from Maurice Sendak, who wrote and illustrated Where the Wild Things Are. One day, Sendak received a letter with a charming little drawing on it from a boy named Jim. In return, Sendak drew a Wild Thing on a card and sent it to the boy. A few weeks later, he received a letter from Jim’s mother that said, “Jim loved your card so much he ate it.” “That to me was one of the highest compliments I’ve ever received,” Sendak recalled. “He saw it, he loved it, he ate it.” * * * When faced with the choice of doing nothing or receiving painful electric shocks, the average person shocked themselves five times. * * * Sometimes being close with our colleagues can leave us emotionally exhausted. Managing relationships we care about while giving critical feedback or rushing to meet deadlines takes effort. Talk to anyone who has worked at a startup where coworkers describe themselves as a family, and you’ll inevitably hear how tiring it can be. * * * Though we tend to be drawn to the status quo, research shows change might make us happier. In an experiment, Freakonomics author Steven Levitt invited people who were on the fence about a major life decision (like quitting a job or ending a relationship) to let a coin toss determine their fate. Heads meant make a change. Tails meant stick with the status quo. Six months after the coin toss, people who got heads—who made a change—were happier. “People may be excessively cautious when facing life-changing choices,” writes Levitt. * * * MOLLIE: This might be the most lucrative advice we will give you: If you’re asking for more money (either for your starting salary in a new job or for a raise at your existing job), try this magic line: “I don’t want my salary to be a distraction to me while I’m in this role.” I have used this sentence to successfully raise my starting salary at several jobs. By saying you don’t want your salary to be a distraction (i.e., distractingly low), you are stating a fact that both you and the other person believe to be true. You are having empathy for both yourself and the other party. They also don’t want you to be distracted. * * * Former Campbell Soup CEO Doug Conant would give people he worked with a “DRC (Doug R. Conant) orientation”: he would explain that he was an introvert and how that affected his work style. This helped him “quickly get beyond all the little superficial dances people do when they first start working with each other.”

  7. 4 out of 5

    sarah semark

    Introverts, read this. Extroverts, read this. Leaders, read this. Managers, read this. Individual contributors, read this. I think I would have really enjoyed this book even without all the charming (and funny) graphs and illustrations, but they really pushed it over from a four star to five, underlining the value of emotional connection even for otherwise relatively dry subject matter (work). I was definitely in the "thinks emotions have no place in the workplace" camp until I read this, and it's Introverts, read this. Extroverts, read this. Leaders, read this. Managers, read this. Individual contributors, read this. I think I would have really enjoyed this book even without all the charming (and funny) graphs and illustrations, but they really pushed it over from a four star to five, underlining the value of emotional connection even for otherwise relatively dry subject matter (work). I was definitely in the "thinks emotions have no place in the workplace" camp until I read this, and it's totally changed my approach. ❤️

  8. 5 out of 5

    C.E. G

    This wasn't mind-blowing, but it felt medicinal in that it was just so validating. It helped me put words to some dynamics that had felt difficult in previous workplaces, and gave me some ideas for adjusting to my new position. The cute graphics definitely helped keep my eyes moving, as well.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Adam

    Some good stuff in there.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Samantha Hines

    One of the best books on the workplace that I’ve read.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Katelyn Jenkins

    Reading this book was truly a joy.

  12. 5 out of 5

    Jessica

    3.5 stars Cute drawings and accessible writing with some great tips.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Ellen

    Really fun, entertaining, and enjoyable book about being expressive and showing vulnerability at work. Nothing absolutely revolutionary but good, practical advice and the illustrations were excellent.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Leah

    I have mixed feelings (ha) about this book. On the one hand, I love that this is a topic that has made it to the mainstream and that we are mostly moving away from emotionless, authoritarian leadership norms and company cultures. I think people should read it and use it as a tool to improve emotions in and around work. On the other hand, I feel like the authors bit off more than they could chew for such a small text, and as a result a lot of the material feels superficial and just references oth I have mixed feelings (ha) about this book. On the one hand, I love that this is a topic that has made it to the mainstream and that we are mostly moving away from emotionless, authoritarian leadership norms and company cultures. I think people should read it and use it as a tool to improve emotions in and around work. On the other hand, I feel like the authors bit off more than they could chew for such a small text, and as a result a lot of the material feels superficial and just references other books. Since I’ve read many of the books they reference, it often felt like a nice summary of other things I’ve learned, but didn’t offer much new analysis or commentary. I wanted it to feel more scholarly or more therapeutic/deeply emotional, but instead it was more blurb-y. It’s very user-friendly, so if you want a quick book that will give you some good tips and insights about healthy emotions in the workplace, give it a try. But if you’ve been on a Therapy Journey™️ like me and are already used to digging deep into your emotions and working on your emotional intelligence, it’ll feel more like a light refresher of what you’ve already been working on.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Cindy

    I really like that there are illustrations throughout the book. Some of them just make me stop and laugh out loud! I love that! The authors Liz and Mollie talk about how it's okay to be an emotional person. Emotions are good and when you try to stop them, you really aren't being yourself. Of course don't be overly emotional, but do have a balance. Life isn't just about work. Find other things to focus on. Exercise. Vacation. Don't look at your emails when it is your day off. As the authors say, I really like that there are illustrations throughout the book. Some of them just make me stop and laugh out loud! I love that! The authors Liz and Mollie talk about how it's okay to be an emotional person. Emotions are good and when you try to stop them, you really aren't being yourself. Of course don't be overly emotional, but do have a balance. Life isn't just about work. Find other things to focus on. Exercise. Vacation. Don't look at your emails when it is your day off. As the authors say, be less passionate about your job (20). Right now I'm in the section of how there is such a thing as chronic venting. Venting because a problem when that is all you focus on - the negativity. You have to create a solution. Find people who can be truthful with you on what you need to do to get out of the problem (39).

  16. 5 out of 5

    Omar El-mohri

    Mostly I liked the doodles, it gives a better meaning to the text. However I don’t like some tendencies that sometimes not real, when you think that businesses has incentive to push and force representation of minorities just to not hurt others feelings.

  17. 5 out of 5

    Aaron Mikulsky

    “Humans are emotional creatures, regardless of circumstance. By ignoring our feelings at work, we overlook important data and risk making preventable mistakes.” Our feelings are our guideposts, and we must try to learn from them and express them effectively. Success depends on learning how to let emotion into the workplace without letting it run wild. “Your best self knows how to learn from and talk about these emotions, without becoming emotional. Your best self is authentic, without bulldozing “Humans are emotional creatures, regardless of circumstance. By ignoring our feelings at work, we overlook important data and risk making preventable mistakes.” Our feelings are our guideposts, and we must try to learn from them and express them effectively. Success depends on learning how to let emotion into the workplace without letting it run wild. “Your best self knows how to learn from and talk about these emotions, without becoming emotional. Your best self is authentic, without bulldozing over other people’s feelings.” “Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a better predictor of success in the workplace than IQ.” We need to learn to be reasonably emotional. “Emotional fluency is the capacity to productively sense emotion, and to know how and when to translate what we feel into healthy action.” Today, the top skills employers seek are the ability to work on a team and the capacity to communicate verbally with others. However, the downside to more collaboration is more conflict. Remember Elaine’s famous line from Seinfeld - “I had to take a sick day. I’m so sick of these people.” Caring too much about a job is unhelpful and unhealthy. Caring less offers a solution to a lot of anguish. Care more about yourself. “Studies show that productivity starts to drop after working about 50 hours per week. Giving yourself less time might make you more efficient.” “Studies show when we mathematize our experiences - by tracking our steps or measuring miles hiked - we don’t enjoy them as much.” The busier we are, the more important we feel. Stop worrying about FOMO = Fear Of Missing Out! Fall out of love with your phone! If you want to have more energy, limit your email, social media, and messaging. Every ping is a distraction. Establish digital boundaries. “Shed the unhealthy habit of glorifying the future to justify a miserable present.” [Destination Disease] Psychologist Donald Campbell wrote, “The direct pursuit of happiness is a recipe for an unhappy life.” Constant happiness is unattainable. Emotional culture cascades from you. It’s emotional contagion; there is a ripple effect. A sense of belonging is the best indicator of a healthy emotional environment. Every company has its own emotional culture that is built on emotion norms - the unspoken rules that dictate what you’re allowed to feel and express. Emotion norms are created and reinforced by small, repeated social signals that we often pick up on without realizing it. Harvard professor Adam Grant asks: “Tell me a story about something that would only happen here.” A neat example is Ritz Carlton’s 10/5 rule; they train employees that when they walk within 10 feet of someone, they make eye contact and smile; if they walk within 5 feet, they say hello. Microactions and belonging are positive actions you can take to build meaningful belongings. Our desire to fit in often compels us to hide who we really are. Belonging is when you feel safe and valued for embracing what makes you different. Not belonging or a sense of isolation is among the strongest predictors of turnover.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Perez Selvakumar

    This was a book that I enjoyed very much. No Hard Feelings is a beautifully illustrated book that tackles the often shunned topic of emotions at the workplace. The illustrated doodles and comics were light hearted enough to elicit both a chuckle, while the written content of the book provoked introspection and deep rumination. In the first chapter, readers (especially asians whom are used to our local work culture) are challenged to take our work less seriously, to take mental health breaks & This was a book that I enjoyed very much. No Hard Feelings is a beautifully illustrated book that tackles the often shunned topic of emotions at the workplace. The illustrated doodles and comics were light hearted enough to elicit both a chuckle, while the written content of the book provoked introspection and deep rumination. In the first chapter, readers (especially asians whom are used to our local work culture) are challenged to take our work less seriously, to take mental health breaks & uninterrupted vacations, and to stay away from all forms of communication to our office during our R&R time. Health is the primary focus of the chapter, and an obsessive compulsion to constantly check our emails is unhealthy. Subsequent chapters cover motivation in the workplace, and how to keep your job meaningful. How one should manage their communication approaches in an office setting, especially in conflict resolution wether in person or through email. How psychological safety is increasingly needed in workplace, how this positively affects performance, and how individually we can shape corporate cultures in our personal departments. This book also addresses Managers on how they can build safe environments for their members to emotionally thrive, perform, and grow. Also emphasising that as leaders, we are not exempt from being any less human in how we manage our emotions, but how we can positively manage our vulnerabilities yet constantly show a clear part forward while all eyes are on us. I would highly recommend this book to anybody that may be going through a hard time in the workplace, or is feeling lost about subsequent steps in their individual careers. I personally found that this book comforted me by saying ‘emotions in the workplace are ok’ and helped me in reprioritising my thoughts, priorities, and made me rethink career growth. P.S. Did I mention that the illustrations in this book are very cute? :)

  19. 5 out of 5

    Steve

    No Hard feelings is an easy to read book that covers a topic that surrounds us but which we are sometimes encouraged to ignore at work: emotions. In some circles you might be encouraged to think of emotions and feelings as irrelevant to the work place, or if you acknowledge that they exist, treating them as a something to be suppressed. Doing this is counter productive. While being emotional might not be a good idea, thinking in terms of the context that emotions provide can help you and your te No Hard feelings is an easy to read book that covers a topic that surrounds us but which we are sometimes encouraged to ignore at work: emotions. In some circles you might be encouraged to think of emotions and feelings as irrelevant to the work place, or if you acknowledge that they exist, treating them as a something to be suppressed. Doing this is counter productive. While being emotional might not be a good idea, thinking in terms of the context that emotions provide can help you and your team be more effective. Management guru Jerry Weinberg was known to say that “emotions are data” and should be considered when analyzing what happened. No Hard Feelings gives advice about how to put that idea into action. No Hard Feelings covers how to think about your (and others) emotions as an individual, as a team member, and as a leader. (-- formal or other wise -- the discussion on how leadership isn’t a role so much as an activity, reminded me of Jerry Weinberg’s ‘becoming a technical leader’). The chapter summaries, notes, and related on line resources give you much information to help you be a better team member by being a better person (which includes taking care of yourself) While the book didn’t address any particular type of organization it seemed quite relevant to Agile software organizations. This book will be on my shelf next to Becoming a Technical Leader, and Secrets of Consulting as books members of any engineering team should read. I can also see it being an important part of the core reading material for anyone who works on a team of any kind in any industry.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Shanna

    I can't recall if I saw this book featured in a Buzzfeed listicle or a Girl's Night In newsletter, but, I am pleased to have had the chance to read it. It was surprisingly hard to find in the library system, but I was finally able to borrow it as an eBook. While I was entertained by the illustrations scattered throughout the book, I felt that the book glossed over a lot and that the authors tried to tackle too many subjects at once in one tome. The authors did try to reference other works that de I can't recall if I saw this book featured in a Buzzfeed listicle or a Girl's Night In newsletter, but, I am pleased to have had the chance to read it. It was surprisingly hard to find in the library system, but I was finally able to borrow it as an eBook. While I was entertained by the illustrations scattered throughout the book, I felt that the book glossed over a lot and that the authors tried to tackle too many subjects at once in one tome. The authors did try to reference other works that delve into more detail on each subject, but doing that made the effort feel like a gasp for breath after a long-winded comment. I did appreciate that the authors fully disclosed that they were not experts nor had experiences in anything other than what they are: middle class, middle aged, white women and that they referred readers to sources that could speak for other groups. There was one other specific thing that irked me: they kept using the phrase "a good rule of thumb". I wish they had been more mindful as to the origins of that phrase and had opted to just use the phrase "a good rule". There wasn't anything earth shattering or new to report from this book; it's a collection of good advice in bite-sized chapters with humorous visuals to accompany it. I recommend anyone to read it, though this book only gets a solid 3 stars from me.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Alison

    I've been working on being a better manager since, well, I started being a manager at all. I've taken a lot of training and classes and such, which have been amazing, and I keep thinking I'm going to read a bunch of books, too. I have checked so many management books out of the library and left them on my shelf for my full three renewal periods and returned them unread, and this was going to be n+1 in that series. But something made me think, hey, let me just skim this one before I return it, se I've been working on being a better manager since, well, I started being a manager at all. I've taken a lot of training and classes and such, which have been amazing, and I keep thinking I'm going to read a bunch of books, too. I have checked so many management books out of the library and left them on my shelf for my full three renewal periods and returned them unread, and this was going to be n+1 in that series. But something made me think, hey, let me just skim this one before I return it, see if I want to think about checking it out again like I'm going to actually read it this time. And then I read the whole thing in one sitting. At first it was useful because it applied to a certain person I know who is burned out and takes their job very seriously and very personally, and chapter one of this book is all over that. The chapter subhead is "Be less passionate about your job: Why taking a chill pill makes you healthier." YES PREACH. And then while I was reading important statements aloud pointedly at said certain person, I came across one that seemed maybe more pointed in my direction. Hmmph. And then the book continued with great advice for both managers and employees about motivation and decision making and working in teams and I was like, crap, I'm going to have to buy my own copy of this book so I can highlight all the things. How long until it's in paperback?

  22. 5 out of 5

    Nicole Oke

    No Hard Feelings is an enjoyable read for ANYONE, whether you're an introvert or extrovert, a woman who struggles to feel valued or recognized in a male-driven work environment, if you are a leader or aspire to be one, or if you wish to self-improve in the workplace or understanding the emotions of others and your own. The book uses examples from companies such as Google and Netflix to provide witty and relatable real-world examples of situations you may or have faced at some point or another in No Hard Feelings is an enjoyable read for ANYONE, whether you're an introvert or extrovert, a woman who struggles to feel valued or recognized in a male-driven work environment, if you are a leader or aspire to be one, or if you wish to self-improve in the workplace or understanding the emotions of others and your own. The book uses examples from companies such as Google and Netflix to provide witty and relatable real-world examples of situations you may or have faced at some point or another in the workplace. "Research shows that our brains respond more positively to empathetic bosses; when we feel a personal connection with a leader, we try harder, perform better, and are kinder to our colleagues." Being empathetic and showing a high emotional intelligence is essential for those around you because who doesn't want to work in a more emotionally mature workplace, or live in a kinder world? This business book is quite charming and covers a lot of ground for why having traits like empathy, communication, and the ability to work together are so important and how to utilize our emotions. On another note, it's a good reminder to know that it's okay to embrace emotions at work and stop feeling bad about feeling bad. "Real achievement at work requires going one step beyond emotional intelligence; you need to learn to be reasonably emotional."

  23. 4 out of 5

    James

    The book isn't exactly about emotions. It's more or less pragmatic, though often funny, career and work-life advice put into a framework. That said, it is a pretty good book. A lot of the authors' points are spot on and sometimes even actionable. I really appreciated the parts about teams, communication, and culture, which are places my organization is working on (like mad) right now. The illustrations were also great. I sent one too my boss. :) One minor issue, though. Most of the book is really g The book isn't exactly about emotions. It's more or less pragmatic, though often funny, career and work-life advice put into a framework. That said, it is a pretty good book. A lot of the authors' points are spot on and sometimes even actionable. I really appreciated the parts about teams, communication, and culture, which are places my organization is working on (like mad) right now. The illustrations were also great. I sent one too my boss. :) One minor issue, though. Most of the book is really geared toward women, so men will definitely get less out of this one and might consider supplementing it with Leading with Emotional Courage (Bregman), which covers some of the same ground, but in a less way that's less gendered. Overall, a worthwhile read for anyone looking to improve their workplace experience. It helps if you have enough power/influence to implement changes. Not sure if I'll buy a copy; undecided.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Natalía Papadopoúlou

    Not adequate emotional granularity to describe my feelings about this book ;) Once upon a time not long time ago, I bumped into the Instagram account of LizAndMollie. I couldn’t help but anticipating the next clever illustration-explanation. I bought the book and just didn’t want to put it down till I finish it. I appreciated deeply how it covers most aspects of emotions at work with simplicity, humor and resourcefulness. I can sense the research and refinement that was done to put this through. Not adequate emotional granularity to describe my feelings about this book ;) Once upon a time not long time ago, I bumped into the Instagram account of LizAndMollie. I couldn’t help but anticipating the next clever illustration-explanation. I bought the book and just didn’t want to put it down till I finish it. I appreciated deeply how it covers most aspects of emotions at work with simplicity, humor and resourcefulness. I can sense the research and refinement that was done to put this through. As someone that has read some of the indicated books and articles that are mentioned, I felt the mashup was not only useful to develop a broad understanding but also a point of reference to go back to when I want to expand my knowledge. Last but not least I kept some practical tips that can be actionable right away (like starting a decision journal). Would recommend this to anyone that would like to feel inspired about knowing more about emotions.

  25. 4 out of 5

    Susan Cosden

    The two authors of this book did such a fantastic job in creating the new rules for bringing emotions into work and all the thinking behind these rules. This book works for anyone who works or will be joining the workforce. They address the issues from both a manager level and from employee level. As someone who learns best from a variety of different ways, I really appreciated the art that furthered the text and showed a great deal of humor. I was extremely grateful to have the assessments in t The two authors of this book did such a fantastic job in creating the new rules for bringing emotions into work and all the thinking behind these rules. This book works for anyone who works or will be joining the workforce. They address the issues from both a manager level and from employee level. As someone who learns best from a variety of different ways, I really appreciated the art that furthered the text and showed a great deal of humor. I was extremely grateful to have the assessments in the back for myself and the teams with whom I work. As I received this book as part of the Next Big Idea Book Club, I also really appreciated the packet they created to go with the book and on which I took even more notes. The footnotes offered me the opportunity to do even a deeper dive into some of these subjects with references for books, articles, and TedTalks.

  26. 4 out of 5

    Kendra

    First off, the illustrations are amazing, irrelevant and quite funny. And some of the advice/exercises that the book provides are excellent. However, the text was sometimes quite choppy - the fact that pop out sections were split across multiple pages was quite strange. The sections felt disjointed and strangely organized. And the fact that there were constant positive mentions of various corporations and business leaders felt quite strange - there was no critical examination of this phenomenon First off, the illustrations are amazing, irrelevant and quite funny. And some of the advice/exercises that the book provides are excellent. However, the text was sometimes quite choppy - the fact that pop out sections were split across multiple pages was quite strange. The sections felt disjointed and strangely organized. And the fact that there were constant positive mentions of various corporations and business leaders felt quite strange - there was no critical examination of this phenomenon or deeper engagement. For example, the section talking about microaggressions vs. "micro-actions" was just weird. I would still recommend the book to folks seeking to better understand emotions at work, but was disappointed by it.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Mehmet Taha Meral

    Most of us have gotten used to the idea that mixing our emotions with work is somehow taboo. But that’s just a myth. In fact, when you begin to listen to, understand, express and learn from your emotions, you are more likely to experience a richer, more satisfying and productive working life. Use icebreakers that get to the heart of who your colleagues are as people. Need to get a group of colleagues to open up? Split them into pairs and use this great icebreaker prompt: “thinking about your chi Most of us have gotten used to the idea that mixing our emotions with work is somehow taboo. But that’s just a myth. In fact, when you begin to listen to, understand, express and learn from your emotions, you are more likely to experience a richer, more satisfying and productive working life. Use icebreakers that get to the heart of who your colleagues are as people. Need to get a group of colleagues to open up? Split them into pairs and use this great icebreaker prompt: “thinking about your childhood, tell me about a meal that comes to mind, and why.” No one just answers with “steak.” Instead, you’ll hear stories about culture, upbringing and family. You’ll generate real emotion and kick-start a mood of openness and warmth in the room.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Amanda

    This book was a mandatory read and I completely forgot I can add it to my reading challenge. Anyway, I found this book redundant. I didn't learn anything new that I hadn't already read from articles on mental health and embracing your emotions. I liked the witty illustrations and pun-ny captions that reminded me of a Tumblr or Instragram post, but, again, I've already read about the book's topics from the very same forums. Reading everything in book format wasn't as interesting. I do appreciate t This book was a mandatory read and I completely forgot I can add it to my reading challenge. Anyway, I found this book redundant. I didn't learn anything new that I hadn't already read from articles on mental health and embracing your emotions. I liked the witty illustrations and pun-ny captions that reminded me of a Tumblr or Instragram post, but, again, I've already read about the book's topics from the very same forums. Reading everything in book format wasn't as interesting. I do appreciate the fact that the authors acknowledged their privilege as white women and how their advice would impact minorities differently. They tried to tackle topics like and gender and race in the workplace, but it was very surface-level writing that anyone could have come up with themselves.

  29. 4 out of 5

    Mackenzie

    No Hard Feelings never feeling like it was written by two people and then pieced together. I enjoyed the content that they covered, but a lot of it felt foundational without introducing anything truly new or creative for me, they quoted a lot of business books for content. In summary, they believe "what people think being emotional means: irrational, weak, unprofessional. What it really means: you are human." The graphics made it fun, otherwise, it read like a few folks early in their career tel No Hard Feelings never feeling like it was written by two people and then pieced together. I enjoyed the content that they covered, but a lot of it felt foundational without introducing anything truly new or creative for me, they quoted a lot of business books for content. In summary, they believe "what people think being emotional means: irrational, weak, unprofessional. What it really means: you are human." The graphics made it fun, otherwise, it read like a few folks early in their career telling this generation emotions at work are okay. It didn't cover how to pushback on folks that might disagree on that point, and I thought the quotes from most commonly read business books weren't incredibly impactful.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Belinda

    This book covers a topic that is not usually addressed in similar books about surviving the workplace and that is how to deal with our emotions. We are taught to always keep a professional front but sometimes it is not the right way to handle our emotions. I enjoyed this book and it covers a wide variety of circumstances in dealing with emotions and interactions with coworkers and supervisors. The only two things I felt could be better was narrowing the topics a bit more and incorporating more a This book covers a topic that is not usually addressed in similar books about surviving the workplace and that is how to deal with our emotions. We are taught to always keep a professional front but sometimes it is not the right way to handle our emotions. I enjoyed this book and it covers a wide variety of circumstances in dealing with emotions and interactions with coworkers and supervisors. The only two things I felt could be better was narrowing the topics a bit more and incorporating more about handling less than ideal situations (problem-solving). Yes, it is great if you work within a cooperative and collaborative workplace with supportive peers, but what if this is not the case? The illustrations are also fantastic and added a lot of humor and interest to support the content.

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